Who could understand the pathos of the Lord as he spoke these words? None but those who have been rejected, outcast, belittled, excoriated or accused like he was. It was one thing to be accused of working by the power of the devil by a bunch of self-righteous Pharisees. This itself is not easy. It takes a toll on the heart any time you are rejected or condemned by another person, but among his little band of outcasts? Would he be an outcast of outcasts? He must have feared that they too, these nobodys would also reject him.

I have felt the sting of this statement, and in honesty, I fear it has only just begun. I fear losing the kindness of family. I fear the openness and charity of those so far will dry up like a potsherd. I fear my fellow outcasts will no longer find me useful, wise or relevant. I panicked tonight as I looked to see "have they removed me from their blog?"

I don't want to be hurt. My natural reaction is to build a wall and hide behind it. To close off relationships that may, in the future cause the kind of pain that I ask the Lord to take from me. I think desperately "Surely there must be some saying I can say to them, to convince them not to leave me." But there is no magical statement, no eloquent exposition that could ensure it.

I can't live my life by fear. Some have been kind, genuine and charitable so far, and for that I rejoice. I can only suspect that attitude came from their own tribulation. If those good feelings should ever turn into contention, then the only thing that can be done is to endure the abuse in such a manner, that experience will manifest, to some few, that I am still a person, I am still a brother, a son. That I am not motivated by a dark and evil spirit. That I am worthy of a genuine relationship, and not one where I'm being pulled into a boat.

Joseph didn't know who his friends were. A trusted associate today was very often a bitter enemy the next. He hid in the dens and the caves of the earth until his supposed friends, after all he had done for them, told him he was a coward. A barb which, to him, cut deepest. To which he replied "If my life is of no value to my friends it is of none to myself."

"Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake. Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you."1 (Matthew 5:11-12)

 

Notes

1. No, I do not pretend to be a prophet.