Light and understanding was difficult to come by, but once it came and I recognized it, it has gradually increased and flowed more and more according to the diligence and sacrifice I have given to the Lord for the excellency of the knowledge of Him, and for that, I rejoice.

"That which is of God is light; and he that receiveth light, and continueth in God, receiveth more light; and that light groweth brighter and brighter until the perfect day." (D&C 50:24)

Many questions I've had, that I've written down and sought for answers have been answered, and in a more profound manner than I expected.  My misunderstandings have been cleared away.

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It has helped me to bring others closer to Him "for when a man speaketh by the power of the Holy Ghost the power of the Holy Ghost carrieth it unto the hearts of the children of men." I have seen their minds expand, their intellect increase, their faith brighten. I have received for those that I have pled and prayed for.

But it is also true that "there are many that harden their hearts against the Holy Spirit, that it hath no place in them; wherefore, they cast many things away which are written and esteem them as things of naught" and so I remain silent, or limited in what I can say and also limited in what I can learn in those experiences.

Because the Lord will not force himself on anyone, neither do I want to, and so your tradition, your unbelief remains with you until you humble yourself as a little child and seek this Jesus with no apparent beauty.

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Light and knowledge are actually more difficult to receive than miralces. When Christ came to the multitude gathered at bountiful, their faith was insufficient to hear his words, but that had enough faith to be healed from all their afflictions.1

"There has been a great difficulty in getting anything into the heads of this generation. It has been like splitting hemlock knots with a corn-dodger for a wedge and a pumpkin for a beetle. Even the Saints are slow to understand." (Joseph Smith, HC 6:184)

It has been difficult getting anything through this mind, but once that hemlock knot cracked open, I can see more and more clearly.

 

Notes

1. "I perceive that ye are weak, that ye cannot understand all my words which I am commanded of the Father to speak unto you at this time. Therefore, go ye unto your homes, and ponder upon the things which I have said, and ask of the Father, in my name, that ye may understand, and prepare your minds for the morrow, and I come unto you again. But now I go unto the Father, and also to show myself unto the lost tribes of Israel, for they are not lost unto the Father, for he knoweth whither he hath taken them.

"And it came to pass that when Jesus had thus spoken, he cast his eyes round about again on the multitude, and beheld they were in tears, and did look steadfastly upon him as if they would ask him to tarry a little longer with them. And he said unto them: Behold, my bowels are filled with compassion towards you. Have ye any that are sick among you? Bring them hither. Have ye any that are lame, or blind, or halt, or maimed, or leprous, or that are withered, or that are deaf, or that are afflicted in any manner? Bring them hither and I will heal them, for I have compassion upon you; my bowels are filled with mercy.  For I perceive that ye desire that I should show unto you what I have done unto your brethren at Jerusalem, for I see that your faith is sufficient that I should heal you.

"And it came to pass that when he had thus spoken, all the multitude, with one accord, did go forth with their sick and their afflicted, and their lame, and with their blind, and with their dumb, and with all them that were afflicted in any manner; and he did heal them every one as they were brought forth unto him." (3 Nephi 17:2-9)