Don't Get Me Wrong

I was raised in the LDS church and have been a lifelong member for the past 36 years.  It has been a good 36 years, generally speaking, and I have been grateful to my parents for a Wonderful Life.  Some of the things I am grateful for in no particular order;

Attending the LDS church every Sunday of my life – minus the couple of super cool memories I have of us swimming once on a Sunday while on vacation, and eating out at a restaurant on a Sunday during a move from Lake City, FL to Orange Park, FL.

Listening to the tapes that went along with the young scripture readers.

Monthly FHE at my Granny and Pa’s place in White Springs, FL.

Teenage thoughts on the drive to church like, “Wow, how sad.  Smoking is wrong period, but to do it on a Sunday, wow!  At least don’t smoke on Sunday!”

Church dances, EFY, my mom as seminary teacher.  The best one ever! Youth Conference. Girls camp (maybe?), I can’t be sure I appreciate girls camp.

Hearing my sister NHP sing ‘I Heard Him Come’, and all the Janice Kapp Perry tapes.

Chris Gunn on Christmas morning when my soul was pierced as he sang the words “O Night Divine, O night, when Christ was born”.

When my sister’s baby died, and I went to the hospital morgue with my father and picked up his tiny (1lb 9oz) body to drive him three hours to N. FL where we buried him next to his Grandpa Howell.  Being privileged to read 3 Nephi 17 at the graveside of little Freddie and having a strong belief and comfort in life after death, the continuation of the spirit, and the hope of loved ones reunited.

The blessing of a strong mother who loved God, children, me, my dad, and being a mom.  Who was always ‘there’ wherever that was and who loved and supported me and taught me the same things just by living herself every day. 

Meeting my own personal RM at Youth Conference in the Tampa bldg. before it was torn down, three weeks before I went to Ricks College.

So yeah, it has been a wonderful life.  So don’t get me wrong when I say I do not believe that Thomas S. Monson is a prophet, neither any of the first presidency or quorum of the twelve apostles.  Don’t get me wrong when I discover that the church, who built the frame work for my wonderful life, teaches priestcraft.  Don’t get me wrong when I feel torn, confused, and frustrated in knowing how to move forward in teaching my own children.  I have no hurt, anger, bitterness, or ill feelings of the past, my upbringing, or the continued beliefs of my parents.  I love them.  I thank them.  They blessed me with a safe place to learn the things of the Book of Mormon, to practice the faith I was developing, to learn to love the Lord and desire to follow Him.  I no longer desire any involvement or activity with the LDS church.  I now, without meaning to, without desire to tear down hurt or offend another, find fault with the LDS church.  But don’t get me wrong,

“Now this account did cause the people of Mosiah to mourn exceedingly, yea, they were filled with sorrow; nevertheless it gave them much knowledge, in the which they did rejoice.” – Mosiah 28:18

Thank you for the first years, the tender years, being taught the teachings of the Book of Mormon in my home, from my parents, the people who loved and guided me.  But it is time to move on now.  It is time to let go of the crutches that taught me the beginning steps to walk, and be free!  To walk on my own!  To learn for myself and, if God be willing, to meet Him!  To bear my own similar testimony of Christ as did Brother Joseph.

“And now, after the many testimonies which have been given of him, this is the testimony, last of all, which we give of him: That he lives!  For we saw him, even on the right hand of God; and we heard the voice bearing record that he is the Only Begotten of the Father— That by him, and through him, and of him, the worlds are and were created, and the inhabitants thereof are begotten sons and daughters unto God.” (D&C 76:22-24)